Thursday, September 15, 2011

The Surprise Enema Machine


We departed La Rochelle at 3:30 on Sunday morning for St. Nazaire. There was a bit of a westerly coming in as we made our way out through the approach channel, and Daphne stubbornly dug her nose into the chop and sent huge sheets of spray flying in all directions. I had the con with Bart until eight o'clock, and we fought our way through the drowsiness until the time came to hit the bunk.

I fell into an uneasy slumber, and was more dead than awake by the time George gently called from the doorway an hour and a half later. The alarm buzzer was beeping on the bridge, and it was my time to shine. At this time the ship was rolling heavily over to Starboard every few seconds, and when I came up on the bridge I realized that we'd been hit by a serious Biscayne squall. The sea had turned an ugly, leaden shade of gray, and patches of spindrift were skipping from crest to crest. George quite calmly reckoned that the wind wasn't much more than thirty knots or so, but the conditions looked alarming to me, especially as he told me that the wind had only been up for fifteen minutes.

None of the lamps in the alarm panel were lit, but the buzzer didn't respond to either the reset or off buttons. I was jabbed by a jolt of concern for my baby, rumbling steadily away in the engine room, but apparently unhappy about something. I rushed downstairs and scanned the gauges. Temperatures: Normal. Oil pressures: Normal. Air pressure: Normal. As I went through my list, my heart rate slowly settled back to normal. All the while, we kept rolling fifty-odd degrees over to Starboard, so that I had to constantly brace myself on the scorching hot pipes around the main. This is why you keep the engine room floor clean at all times; If it had been covered in oil, I wouldn't have had a chance of keeping my footing.

As it turned out, there was an intermittent fault in the bilge water alarm circuit, so I deactivated the buzzer (Snip!) and told the bridge crew to keep a sharp eye on the red light signifying a main engine alarm condition. At this happy conclusion I suddenly felt the urge to take a leak, so I made my way down to the port side toilet. There was an awful stench in the air, and the whole area was fantastically dirty. Too tired to give a fuck, I simply took my piss standing up, as opposed to my custom of sitting down when the sea is up. Thank God for that, or I would have had my first surprise enema. The toilet slurped, gurgled and without further warning spewed its contents forth in a deluge of flying shit that reached at least a couple of feet above the bowl.
Applying my engineering mind to what was essentially a hygiene problem, I concluded that the waves slamming us on the port side created a pressure spike in the pipe, with said spectacular results. Oh well. I should probably see about freeing up that frozen valve so that we can shut it while at sea. Exhausted and disgusted, I stumbled back to my bunk and unsuccessfully tried to get a nap before it was my time back at the con. On the bridge for the final leg into St. Nazaire, I received the news that the GPSes had failed yet again. Same symptoms as last time – all of them had suddenly lost their signal. This gave me a bit of execise with the little Raymarine back-up radar, using ERBL/VRM to plot a more or less accurate track until the GPSes magically came back on line.

The harbor approach was somewhat tricky, as the ocean swell surging into the dredged channel conspired with the two knots of tidal current to make the autopilot near useless for maintaining a steady track over ground. Still, we made it without incident, and I handed the con over to The Man to go through the lock and to our assigned berth. That part went smooth as silk, even the lock certainly wasn't too big for us. In the picture (thanks, Gwen!), you have Bart and myself grinning at the clearance. In an instant we transisted from the noise and commotion of passage making to the surpreme calm of a ship on the dock, the generator quietly purring away in the engine room.

St. Nazaire is perfect for this month of maintenance. It's a seriously industrial little town, with a major shipyard servicing the big cruise liners, and it has everything you might need to repair a ship. It's also working class to the bone, and I'll have no problem fitting in with the locals. To top it all off, there are several HUGE German submarine bunkers in town, which look perfect for exploration. Look forward to an illustrated update if I find the time for that.

(Note the 20-odd thousand horsepower MAN diesel abaft of the two tugs)

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